Are you too nice? The risks of being Mr. Nice Guy

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In this article we will touch on some key points that may just change how “nice” you actually are.

There are inherent dangers that come with being too “nice”

There is a great difference between the guy that is nice only because of his social fears. As opposed to the nice guy that is confident and truly nice solely because he wants to be.

To be truly happy you need to know the difference and apply it now.

Success requires a generous heart and a strong backbone. In this article we will learn how to refine both. This will seem strange if you are in fear of not being liked. One thing I can tell you for certain though is this, if you read this line and feel uncomfortable, read on because you need to understand the differences, for your own good.

It all starts here…..

How many times have you done something “nice” for someone? Hopefully many times. Helping people to me is one of the greatest parts about being human. It brings most people joy in one way or another.

Unless you are just plain nasty you feel good when you help someone, or you have someone go out of their way to help you.

The issue arises when we are “too nice” and we suffer because of it. Men that start to give too much time and energy away to people that don’t really appreciate it. You feel good about it though so it doesn’t bother you much.

Your girlfriend or wife will walk all over you, and you allow it. This is just because you don’t want to upset them or have them actually figure out the problem they have by themselves. This keeps the boat stable and you put up with anything because in reality you are an addict.

That’s right, you are an addict.

That feeling of helping and letting people can lead to addiction. I know that sounds crazy but think… If you your cousin asks you to help him or her move and you say no because you had plans would you feel bad? Would you replay the conversation over and over in your head and try to justify it to yourself?

This wears on the person that is too nice and eventually in really bad cases they will change direction. Even put their family on the back burner, just so they get that feel good helper high.

For some they would even cancel there plans. call them back and say.

“NO PROBLEM I can come, I had plans for next week. Sorry I’m mixed up, what time should I be there.” “Do you need my truck?”

Over time people pick up on this trait of yours and start to abuse it. I’m not saying they intentionally do this but they do it just the same. Days will pass and you will do more than your fair share for everyone. You are just a really nice guy right?

Even though there are times that you fight with your spouse over helping “your cousin again” when you were supposed to go on date night. Or you miss time with your kids because your neighbors battery is dead, even though he is perfectly capable of jumping it himself. Hell he might even just stand there and watch without raising a finger.

Cool right? You are that go to nice guy.

Stop feeding this now!

Subconsciously feeding your addiction, you bend over backwards for people you barely know. Choosing the feeling of being liked over your own needs. Over time this turns you into the guy that gets walked on.

Being there for people is a great trait to have and I am not telling you it’s wrong in any way. This is what great men do, they are there when really needed no matter what for who they care about and love. The problem for guys that are nice simply because they don’t have the backbone to say no is this…

9 times out of 10 they are fake

They will go to help that friend when they had other plans then smile when they show up. But deep down they are resentful, pissed, and unhappy.

One thing you must realize is there are plenty of men who do a ton for people but they do it simply because they really want to. This is the difference between a man and a scared little boy in the area of this topic.

Take these two examples.

One guy, lets call him Joe is a strong and confident man. He owns a large successful business. He helps a lot of people out and is highly respected.

Joe genuinely tells you like it is. He does not shift his tone or become visibly nervous when dealing with people. If a customer is not happy for one reason or another he looks at the situation and does whats right.

Sometimes this requires him to straight up say. No

And that’s it. His customer knows that he is right when he is truly right. They do not walk on him, he makes a great and honest living because he is not afraid of saying no.

He honestly does not give two cents about what people think about him but he is so respected. How can this be?

People pick up on the fact that he is genuine.

You see what I mean here? He runs off of facts period, bottom line it’s genuine and people can sniff that out a mile away. If Joe is helping you with whatever you happen to need you know that he wants to be there and he is there for you. He is happy to help.

A man like Joe builds true character and respect.

Now let’s take a look at Ted.

Ted is a good person and a really “Nice” guy. If his buddy that never helps him shows up or calls him to ask him to go out of his way to help him, Ted gets nervous.

Deep down Ted knows that this guy is not a real friend, but if he says NO he feels bad for the guy. Ted has a good job and a nice house, his buddy is not so well off. In Teds mind he is kind of obligated to help.

Ted’s wife is pissed again when he tells her ” Im just gonna be there for an hour or so.” “I can’t just say NO!” Ted hops in his truck and knows that his wife is pissed, the whole way he is bitching to himself about how he always helps this guy but gets nothing in return.

All of these resentful thoughts come up in Ted’s mind.

When Ted shows up to kill his Saturday he acts happy and cool with his “buddy” Even though his wife texts him after a few hours busting his chops asking where he is. Ted acts happy on the outside, but deep down he’s pissed at his buddy.

Bottom line…. Ted is fake

Do you see the difference between Joe and Ted?

One is a genuine person, Joe will help you, be present and happy to help.

Joe is not pretending around his buddy. He is not acting one way and feeling a different way. Joe is not afraid to tell someone to pound sand if needed.

Ted is the opposite. He is internally upset, he resents his buddy and his buddy doesn’t even know it. What his buddy knows subconsciously is Ted has no balls to say no. That’s why he called him when there was nobody else around.

Guys that are too nice try to bend over backwards and put up with crap because they feel this is how to keep friends and everyone happy.

Guys that earn true respect tell you straight up NO when they can’t be there.

They earn true respect from everyone around them.

One guy takes crap, the other doesn’t have to worry about it because people know he is a strong respected person just by his honesty.

You see it’s better to say no and be honest. Instead of saying yes and resenting the fact that you are always dealing with other people’s problems.

If you say yes to things you really don’t want to do all of the time you are not genuine and you will sit at a lower point in the social latter. You are much better off ditching the mentality of doing things, thinking you will gain friends and admiration.

Instead be a man. Work with the truth, don’t feel bad if you say no because you had other plans. Don’t Lie just tell it straight. If someone walks on you stand up and let them know.

Why would you allow someone to shit on you but feel bad for them when it bothers you?

Guys that are too nice make excuses for people that only take and not give, they have this false view that if they don’t put up with it they will lose people in their lives. Human beings can sniff this guy out a mile away, even if they don’t know they can.

Have you ever noticed in your circle of people how some friends are nice and cool but always get their balls broken. They are still a great friend don’t get me wrong, but they are the whipping boy in the circle.

They are always the one picking up lunch or whatever and secretly they think it’s bullshit after a while.

Then you other buddy is nice and a great guy. You would give him the keys to your house and not think twice. He grabs lunch at work sometimes, hell he even buys when he does. Everyone likes him, he offers to help when he can or wants to. He is trusted.

It is also well known that he won’t take any bullshit, he is clear and consistent. He uses facts and does whats right.

Both men are liked.

Both men help a lot of people.

Only one man is truly respected.

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