Essential tips for self development

man with hand on temple looking at laptop

Self improvement means different things to different people. Maybe you want to build a better body, make more money, learn a language. Whatever your definition of self improvement is, I’m here to give you some tips to help you achieve your goals.

In this article I want to go over some very important tips that will help you improve your mindset so you can crush it on your quest to improve.

My goal is to help you attain your goals.

I encourage you to use some of these tips, pick what works for you and stick with it. Over time you will start to see exactly where you want to go, plus you will know what steps you need to get there.

Just about any man wants more of something

In the beginning

I remember when I decided that I was going to start improving myself. I was at work thinking about what the hell I was going to do with my life and I started to ask myself real hard questions.

Sounds lame but answer me this question……Have you actually asked yourself real hard questions? Have you given honest answers to yourself about your own life?

We are often stubborn men, we do not want to hear the truth. Even if it’s the real key to our own self improvement.

man with hand on temple looking at laptop
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Now It’s Your Turn

Grab a notepad and pencil, make yourself uncomfortable.

That’s right you need to uncomfortably brutally honest with yourself.

Don’t worry, only you will know these questions and answers.

  • What do I really want to do for work?
  • Am I willing to do what it takes to save more money?
  • Do I need more education?
  • What is my main purpose in life?
  • Do I drink too much?
  • What are things that I do that hold me back?

This may sting a bit…….

Many times we love the thought of self improvement, we like to tell ourselves that we are going to do this and that…….Then our whole life will be awesome.

What you must realize is that the mind is tricky.

Many people get enough satisfaction for their minds by simply talking about what they are going to do.

In reality there is nothing actually getting accomplished, you are in the same place you were yesterday.

This leads to a rut where you wake up one day a year later and realize you are still in the same place.

The only difference is the whole time you were stroking your ego, I have done this many times before. Once I got a handle in this sneaky bastard I never looked back…. and neither will you.

How your mind works

It feels good to tell the guys at work that you are going to start lifting again.

There is a difference between actually committing and just talking however.

close up of a stressed man
Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on

Understand that your brain’s job is to keep you alive…that’s it

Our minds love to talk about what we need to do towards grabbing success. When it comes down to getting to work however, that same mind will do whatever it takes to stay “comfortable,” stopping you from doing what it takes to move forward at all costs.

… That is pretty much it’s priority.

Your brain can care less whether you are successful or not. It is your job to take control and push towards goals when the time comes to push.

This self talk is great but you need to be the one in full control of it. You need to push through the mind’s signals to stop because it’s getting hard.

You need to commit.

However are you actually going to go and see it through?

This is a question that you need to ask yourself.


You need to give yourself an honest answer.

How to make this work in your favor?

Write down these questions and answers side by side. Keep this list in plain sight, when you want to improve yourself you need to have guidance.

Starting out, new life changing goals seem easy.

After a while however things get tougher and it’s harder to stay in that habit you need to build to succeed.

Here is a sample that puts it down…


  • Do I want things that I really don’t want to put the time in to get?
  • What kind of body do I really want?
  • I want to get a new car, how can I ?


  • I maybe would put in a few more hours at work, but I don’t want to give up my entire weekend.
  • I’m willing to put in three days a week in at the gym, I don’t want to be a fitness model.
  • Work more hours and cut back on spending. I want that truck.

This can and does work well when the questions and answers are honest. It is like a conversation with yourself in writing.

Trust me, it sounds weird and it is……However your own writing and words are powerful when you look at them a few weeks later.

Start reading more

This goes almost without saying, you need to read to succeed.

Cheesy as hell I know but hear me out, you need to accomplish things other people have already done and written about.

Why the hell would you not want to learn from those before you.

Even if a few books are terrible you can still pick up on one or two things that help you improve.

The man that reads is indeed wise.

Books I highly recommend

  • 16 Laws of success by Napoleon Hill
  • Un^%$ Yourself Get out of your head an into your life
  • The richest man in Babylon
  • The total money makeover
  • As a man Thinketh

Take some time to read and gain some knowledge that will give you the edge in life.

man reading for self improvement

Reading is key to success!

Reading is in itself one of the best things you can do as a man seeking to improve your mind, body and soul.

Replace bad habits with good ones

We all have habits, some good some bad, some in between the two. If there is one thing that will hold you back from self improving it’s the habits you carry that are not helping you push forward.

man with bad habit of smoking

Bad habits are not just drinking and drugs either, they can be sneaky.

  • Procrastination
  • laziness
  • Watching Tv when you could be reading something that teaches you
  • sleeping in

These habits that are not pushing you forward must be shut down and eliminated from your life in order for you to create more useful and productive ones.

How to do it?

It is not easy to break a bad habit, however it is possible if you want the change bad enough.

This brings us back to the question and answer we had with ourself earlier.

Ask yourself if you would be closer to your goals if you stopped one thing that holds you back.

You need to want it, if you can’t even give up one bad habit to gain a better one you are not truly committed to self improvement.

Once you honestly narrow down your non productive habits start thinking about what they cost you in the long run.

Sometimes realizing what things cost truly makes you evaluate things and cut some fat.

Don’t try to change all at once.

Changing a habit takes time, one thing many people tend to do is get all fired up and decide they are going to quit smoking, read a book a week, go to the gym, play guitar, and learn a new language all at once.

You end up overwhelmed and lose focus and eventually give up on them all.

Pick one habit you would like to change and stick to that one, stay on it until you have replaced it with a better habit that helps you.

Slowly start to be aware of when you are going down the same road of old habit, when you do replace it with the new habit you want to burn into your mind; tell yourself you will do this new thing just for 5 minutes.

Eventually it will be easier and longer to stay on the better habit until you completely toss the bad habit aside.

Let me give you an example:

When I know I need to sit down and write a article for this blog sometimes it’s not always easy.

Many times in my mind I say, tomorrow; I would rather sit down, have a beer and relax.

black man lying on sofa at home
Photo by Laker on

What happens? I end up drinking more than a beer, then eat, then go to bed because it’s late. I cost myself a good night of work that I could have gotten done.

Now when I start to feel like this I ask myself…..”what will this cost me on my journey to build up my blog?”

“What’s more important?”

After this I tell myself I will work on the blog for ten minutes then relax if I’m not feeling it.

9 Times out of 10 I end up putting a few good hours into the blog. I feel great, then I will have that beer.

Start slow and create real change that lasts.

This is the way to create new and productive habits that have staying power.

Understand you need to work your ass off

Oh…. did you think all of this was gonna just fall into your lap?

If you want real lasting change you need to commit to putting in the time.

You will have to work very hard and sacrifice things at times.

Many people love the idea of improving their lives.

It is at it’s core so damn great sounding.

  • Gonna get jacked this summer
  • Bank account will be stacked this year
  • I will meet that dream girl
  • I will stop drinking and change my whole diet

These goals are absolutely great but you need to commit to getting them, this takes discipline and patience.

However, understand what needs to be done and decide if you are willing to pay the price to have it.

Once you decide and find your chief aim in life get after it. When it gets tough and you are overwhelmed you may think about giving up on your dream.

Remember to visualize what your end goal is.

Never give up and never give in…. You don’t have time for that.

A man with a burning desire to attain a set goal is unstoppable

Wrapping it all up

Find your passion and realize that it will take some work to attain it. Spend some time and have that conversation with yourself, ask the hard questions and give yourself the honest answers.

anonymous man freelancer on netbook in light workspace
Photo by Zen Chung on

Start reading about your goals


Get all of the information that you can from books, blogs, whatever you can get your hands on.

People have already been wherever you are on the way to your dream, take their advice.

Do not consider it law but always listen to literature, take what you need to take from it. Learn what is crap and what is not.

Reading is key, that is why there are libraries in ancient Greece and all over the world……

Books are that valuable

The sooner you realize this fact, the better off you will be.

Find the habits that are holding you back

Take a real hard look at yourself man……Are there things that you do on a daily basis that stop you from going up the latter of your personal best?

  • Procrastination
  • laziness
  • drinking
  • drugs
  • excuses
  • sleeping in
  • eating crap

This list can be long or short, unless you are MR. Wonderful there is something that you can work on.

You see…. the big thing here is how bad do you want it?

If you truly wanted it with a burning passion there is really not much to stop you.

The hard part is getting to that point in your own mind, for this to happen a few things need to really “click”

Once that happens you are unstoppable.

These tips will not bring you success, however they will help you get your mind to the point of burning ambition and desire.

Once that happens all I would love to do is sit back and watch you kick the crap out of every single goal you go after.

Many times the difference between the man that wishes and the man that has is simple………..Burning desire

There is nothing you can’t do, the human mind is designed to attain everything that is placed inside.

Treat your mind like soil, plant only good things that will feed you and your family, then learn how to grow it…………………..Then work your damn ass off to reap the crop.

Thank you for reading…… Comment and subscribe!

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