Two Ways To Greatly Improve Your Conversation Skills

coworkers talking at a cafe

Life is a constant game of communicating and sharing ideas and thoughts with others. In this article, I will cover how to improve conversation skills to help you get what you want by talking in a way that grabs people’s attention.

Why You Should Improve Your Conversation Skills

Without harmonious and efficient communication with people, you will never be able to succeed in any walk of life. Conversation is an art, once mastered it can bring much happiness and success to your life.

It’s shocking to me how something as important as good conversational skills is not studied more by men in their pursuit of success.

To be frank, you can never have a meaningful and worthwhile relationship with anyone unless you project your thoughts and views in a way that is inviting and genuine.

Man and women sitting and having a conversation-

You have success in your line of sight, you want more out of life and strive to be a respected man. Why not learn how to improve your conversation skills?

There are so many benefits to having the ability to talk with confidence and genuine interest. When we talk with people we learn and grow by leaps and bounds. Knowing how to engage with people and carry on a meaningful conversation results in making connections and building relationships that enrich and expand the mind.

Even a man who is naturally a great conversationalist needs to constantly hone and polish his conversational skills. All men striving for success… You and I both need to take a serious look at how we talk to people, and what we can do to get better at it.

Let’s get after it…

2 Ways To Improve Your Conversation Skills

We know how important good conversation is, but how do we start improving every conversation we engage in? Let’s break down 2 key skills to a conversation that the successful man knows and implements in life.

#1 Lose The Fear

We have all been there, nervous as hell, hoping to hold it together and say the right thing. It can be a job interview, a date, or even a random person at Home Depot for some men.

Fear is a funny thing, it can make a man fumble, trip over his own words, even hold back from what he really wants to say. How could anyone in that situation gain the respect, trust, and business from people?

The first step to improving your conversation skills is to realize you are just as important as anyone you are engaging in conversation with, with no exceptions.

Drop the idea people are “above” you in one shape or form… Right here…and Right now.

When This Hit Home For Me

Many years ago, when I had much less self-confidence I met a very wealthy friend through my father-in-law, I was so nervous about talking to the man out of fear. Imagine that, I was scared to talk because this guy had more money than me. As if he would scream at me for daring to be in his presence or something.

In my head, he was better than me because he had millions and I was an everyday guy.

In my head…

What a fool I was…

It hit… I realized this illusion, the falsehood that wealth makes a man better than another was complete bullshit. I realized I was going to miss an opportunity to learn from this man.

Just like the man who misses out on that beautiful girl because he never talks to her, and what’s worse? Chances are he will never see her again. We miss opportunities when we are scared to open up and talk.

I went in full tilt and acted as confident as the president…

What’s the worst that could happen? I spoke with confidence and asked meaningful questions. I had a genuine interest in the man and what he had to say and showed it. To my surprise, he was more than happy to talk to me with the same, genuine respect.

What a fool I was to think he was above talking to me, I ended up becoming good friends with this man and have had many casual, insightful conversations with him that have opened up many doors for me. We have spoken about investments, money, and life. I have learned many things from him and enjoy our talks immensely.

Understand that this fear of not talking to people because you feel like you have nothing to bring to the table is completely false. Whatever makes you think you can’t have a conversation with a specific person, they have more money, a higher position, are better looking, or whatever it is in your mind holding you back is completely false.

You are just as important as anyone else, build this confidence and use it, not to be arrogant, but to be a genuine man who knows himself and others well.

#2 Talk Less, Listen More

In reality, much of the art of conversation comes from listening. If you want to be interesting and unique, listening is just as important as talking. People are somewhat selfish beings, we all love to talk about ourselves more than we like to admit. A man who realizes this fact can use people’s selfishness to improve his conversation skills. A word of caution… This needs to be done with a GENUINE motive, there is nothing worse than the “fake” man trying to pretend he cares about anything you are saying.

People pick up on fake interest, try this tactic without understanding this fact and you will come across as arrogant and shady. You will remind intelligent people of a “con man.”

Honestly, if you need to hear the above statement, you have bigger things to work on than conversation.

How To Listen More

Taking a keen interest in the other person’s interests involves asking questions about them, their situations, and life in general. Asking questions will open up the person and break the ice.

In sales, you can’t sell a product without first selling yourself to customers. Salesmen often make the mistake of thinking everyone KNOWS what they need when in reality they don’t. Drawing out the person by asking questions that relate to them, rather than focusing on what you’re interested in is the key to sales. By doing this you are first selling yourself as someone who genuinely cares about them first.

A master salesman will always engage the prospect and take a genuine interest in the person before even muttering a word about what he is trying to sell. This is referred to as “neutralizing the mind.”

This works on a psychological level and is an absolute fact.

Neutralizing the minds of people is not as terrible as it sounds, it simply means you have engaged with the person by asking questions and have shown a genuine interest in them and their needs. When done correctly the person feels comfortable and will take a genuine interest in YOU.

After this is achieved it’s like a great game of tennis, back and forth you share a conversation and you are both engaged. This is a conversational skill that eliminates the dreaded, “I don’t have anything to talk about with people.” Ask questions about them and you have all the conversation ammo you need.

You have shown you are truly interested in the person and they have in turn gained an interest in you. People will reciprocate in kind

Always ask questions and listen with genuine interest, then use these topics to continue the conversation. Most people will engage with you in good conversation because what you are talking about relates to them.

Naturally, the person will reciprocate in kind when you bring up your interests.

Wrapping Up

These 2 tips to improve your conversation skills boil down to having the confidence to be yourself, this allows you to come across as a genuine and interesting man. A man who portrays real confidence in himself, not some fake illusion of confidence can always hold his own in conversation well.

This confidence starts to unfold the second you stop holding people above you and start putting the energy toward sharing what you know.

The second is taking a genuine interest in people, asking questions, and showing empathy. People will listen to you much more when you have sold them yourself by being genuinely interested in what they have to say.

These 2 tips, when applied will make every conversation more enjoyable and enriching for all the people involved.

What tips for good conversation do you have? Let me know below!

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