Three Out of The Box Key Lessons To Learn In Your Thirties For Success!

men s wearing black suit jacket and pants

Life is a constant learning curve we all must ride in order to survive. At certain points the curve takes a drastic swing and our minds unfold. This is what allows us to grow as people, it also builds wisdom, patience, and character.

One major milestone in life is when you hit thirty years old. Key lessons learned in you thirties are some of the best. Possibly the most fundamental lessons you will learn through your entire life come in your thirties.

Don’t get me wrong here, there are many other key lessons learned further up the road of life, but things learned in your thirty somethings are indeed some of the biggest and best.

In your twenties you are a bit older than your high school self, you are not the crazy neighborhood kid causing havoc and driving your teachers nuts anymore. Although you still have that crazy and reckless youth looking to jump out of you at any given moment.

person wearing mask holding cocktail shaker

With that said, you are still quite young in the grand scheme of things.

These are fun and crazy years, people start drinking, partying , and most likley making some not so great choices from time to time.

Your friends are a huge part of your life. You feel like everyone is your “boy” and they will always back you up on any given moment. I remember hanging out drinking and getting ready to hit the bars and clubs on…….Well any night of the week. That was the beauty of being in my twenties, You have a lot of friends and fun.

If you are in this age bracket enjoy it because it will fade out at some point.

Hello 30 !

Now we get into the first time in your life where you feel like you need direction of some sort, (hopefully.) Going out with friends is more of a get together to catch up, rather than a night of keg stands and beer pong.

So what are some of the key lessons learned in your thirties?

When you hit your thirties one of the first things that happens for most is you and your friends start to get married, have kids and generally start to move on with their lives. There will be one or two friends that never get it, they still act like idiots and want to party all the time. Maybe show up at your door to ask for money because they are about to lose their apartment.

This behavior starts to get old and your maturity starts to make you realize that most likely this “friend” is a loser that always has an excuse. Get away from these people now, they will do nothing but cause you disruption and hinder your ability to succeed.

I am not saying do not help people by any means, just see the situation for what it is. This brings me to the first key lesson I learned in my thirties.

1. You will be lucky if you have a handful of good friends left when you die.

I have been blessed through my life to have met some pretty incredible people. I’ve heard lessons and have been taught (sometimes the hard way ) about life by some very interesting people.

One man in particular, (I will call him Jewels for this article to retain his privacy.) Was one hell of a guy, he had balls of steel and had experienced everything from a being a millionaire to being bankrupt and everything in between.

One day in my younger years I was talking about some buddy of mine that needed help with moving out of his motel room, I was looking to leave work a little early so I could get there and bail him out. Mind you this kid was a bum that cost me more than I prefer to say. At the time though he was my “boy.”

Jewels looked me dead in the eyes and said ” If you think that kid gives a shit about you, you are dead wrong, stay here and work. Take care of your own life.” “Help the people that really need it.”

It was not until I was into my thirties that what he said made complete sense to me. There are plenty of good people that need help, but helping someone that first won’t help themselves is plain crazy and you are an asshole for doing it.

I was willing to blow out of work and get a mark with my boss and hurt my career to help someone that was still acting like a 16 year old kid.

Guess what, I can’t even tell you where he is now. Go figure, I spent time fighting with my wife (who was then my girlfriend) and burning up my time for a “friend” that truly wasn’t.

When I hit my thirties I learned who my real friends are, guys and gals that are there no matter what. I will always make it a point to be there anytime they need me because I know they will do the same. I have a lot of friends, but real friends that would be next to me on my death bed?

Only a few……..Jewels was right.

In memory of my good friend and mentor Jewels

That is the first lesson you learn in you thirties, many of the people you think are your friends to the end simply are not. Some will start doing drugs, some will die, some will steal and try to take whats yours.

Man that sucks, half your buddies are MIA, get over it. This is life…..

Moving on

2. Silence is golden

Ahhhh silence, we all need it from time to time (especially if you have little scoundrels aka kids.) The next lesson you tend to learn in your thirties is a very important one.

Stop broadcasting all of your dreams and goals to the world.

elderly gentleman making silence gesture in studio

It is exciting when you have an idea or dream that you are going after full steam. Of course you want to tell people what you are doing. It makes you feel good and empowers you to keep moving.

This is a situation where self control and discipline weed out the weak minds from the strong. I have a very successful uncle that owns a killer business, this guy works his ass off and always has a plan and goal he is heading for.

You never know what it is.

He just does, there is no talking about what he’s gonna do someday, when it comes to business. It just gets done, then you know about it when you see the result. I personally struggle with this one because I am vocal person.

With that said I know myself and have worked on adapting my behavior to stop when I catch myself.

stressed male worker covering mouth with hand against gray background

Shut up…

My father in law is one of my best friends, I love the man. He taught me a very simple but important lesson. In his strong polish accent he says….

“Keep plans for yourself, wait and watch.” What he means is basically stop broadcasting every dream and idea you ever have to people that really don’t want you to attain it.

Are all of these people nasty? No, but hear my words. Even the ones that truly care about you don’t want you to change, they like you the way you fit into there life now. Don’t believe me? Tell a drinking buddy you are done having some beers while you guys watch the game next week. You tell me if he does not break your balls about it. He has no bad intention for you, he just doesn’t want to lose you as a drinking buddy. People are all selfish to some extent, I am guilty and so is everyone else that is human.

Show the world what you can do

When you reveal all of your dreams, goals, and plans to anyone that will listen, you give away too much of your energy that is needed to to actually make it happen. Even worse, if you decide that it was not something you want to pursue anymore for whatever reason, you look like a bullshitter to people. This puts you in a weaker category with people. Trust me, this happens whether you think so or not. It is human nature.

You will find that if you start to stay hush and just focus on your plans you will get much more done.

Show the world what you can do. Don’t talk about it until you are reveling your success. Like it or not even people that you think are for you 100% really are far from it.

I am not trying to sound like Mr. Negative. Your dreams are yours, there is nothing in this world that you have full and absolute control over…..except your mind. Let certain people in, but always have a tightly guarded door where all of your dreams and goals live.

royal guard standing near lamp post

Guard your mind, it is the only thing you have full control over

Let’s move on …..

3. You can’t hide from yourself

I really started to notice how my own mind started asking me tough questions when I reached my mid thirties. I really didn’t have the answers for any of them at first. It was kind of like I was being lead by my mind through a tunnel that kept closing in a little at a time.

I stared to think a lot about things that had been well placed on the back burner for years. Your mind knows the next moves before you consciously do. Therefore this is a necessary passage that one must get through to make real progress in life.

This is why a definite chief aim is beyond important. It is the road map through this tunnel.

The people that do not understand why they are having these thoughts stay trapped without even realizing it. They end up living a life that may not be bad, but they always wish they did more. You can not achieve more unless you are ready to handle it, this is how the universe works.

Don’t believe it? Look at hard drug use, I’m not talking some beers and a little weed. I’m talking hard stuff, people that get wrapped up in a life that leads to hard drugs do not understand the cost, they get wrapped up and never push through the tunnel. They become lifetime users, it masks their pain. It lifts the tunnel for a few hours, the tunnel they will do anything to get out of.

This is one reason why they will do anything to get the next fix. Obviously there are other factors involved, but make no mistake what I am talking about is one.

If you have no definite aim or destination to land your middle aged ass you will be unhappy your entire life. This is not a rehearsal, its the real deal and your mind knows it.

I vividly remember having to sort through a ton of thoughts I was holding back. When I was in the “tunnel” I dealt and placed all of my past thoughts in their proper place. Everything from my mothers death when I was 17 to shitty relationships and resentments.

One of the things you learn in your thirties is to let some of this crap go. This is where you really start to build self confidence and staying power.

Ever wonder why some older guy you look up to is such a badass? He dealt with this shit a long time ago and accepted it. He knows how to navigate the tunnel. When you hit your thirties you slowly start to know yourself. Not how you wish you were like in your twenties, but how you actually are.

Your thirties are a great time in your life, you are struggling to make it in one sense, but on the other end you are halfway there. If utilized correctly It’s a time when you weed out the negative crap in the garden of your mind to make room for the fresh cut flowers of life. It is when you plant the crop that will carry you through your adult years.

Memories and family is what really matters. Some things can not be bought no matter how much you have to spend.

Oh how the universe blesses the man who crosses through these years with the right morals and mindset.

Learn who you really are, find your true and lasting friends, then silently impress them both.

There is nothing you can’t accomplish.

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