Every man needs to know the art of the handshake

man slapping other man dadsrealm.com the art of the handshake featured image for doing too much and injuring bicep tendon

In order to earn respect and build up good character, men need to interact with each other in a harmonious way. A staple of this interaction is found in the handshake.

What can I possibly tell you about shaking hands? It’s pretty straight forward right? It indeed is, there is an art to it however that you must know if you want to get ahead in this game.

First some hand shaking history

Shaking hands originated in ancient Greece. It was a way to show piece and respect. It also symbolized that neither person was carrying a weapon and that the interaction was mutually enjoyed.

Although Greece is believed to be the start of the social handshake there is evidence that people were shaking hands well before.

Some theory behind a good handshake? It is a great way to dislodge any weapons that might be up someone’s sleeve.

Yup that’s right, we should all be thankful that the world has evolved a bit.

This is how things were back in medieval times and the people then took it very seriously.

This here?

Not a great way to shake hands…Just sayin’

In older times the ways men interacted were indeed different than today. If you crossed the line back then it could not end very well for anyone.

There is a art to the handshake

Shaking hands is a big measure of how you are as a person. I am committed to helping you on your journey to success and happiness, with that said..

You must get this down!

Have you ever met someone and held out your hand to shake, just to find out that this person has a limp dead fish shake?

It screams lack of confidence and poise, not to mention lack of respect or intent. If this is how you currently shake hands stop now.

The majority of successful people know and understand the importance of a first impression.

The handshake is major when it comes to first impressions whether you consciously realize it or not.

What does a good handshake project?

  • Confidence, it shows you mean business and have belief in yourself and others.
  • Respect, A good firm handshake shows that you have a mutual respect for the person you are engaging with.
  • Structure, Strong structure, both mentally and physically can be projected through a good handshake.
  • Overall accountability, people pick up on way more than you think, trust me.
  • You are unarmed, sorry couldn’t resist, if you are shaking hands with someone and a pipe wrench slides out of their sleeve it’s best to run unless it’s your plumber.

So what is the art of the handshake?

man in black suit jacket showing the art of the handshake

When you shake hands with another person the first thing you should think about is projecting respect and poise.

Let’s look at some ways to accomplish this..

The grip:

Grab the hand firmly, but not too firmly. Nothing is worse than a limp handshake. Learn to gauge this pressure, it does take time but once mastered it will come natural.

One point here: Don’t be scared to go more than less here. Use judgement but do not let the other person totally dominate the firmness. If you back right down when they squeeze you have portrayed they are the stronger man right off the bat.

Balance back pressure and never go limp because they gave you more of a squeeze from the start. Show that you are confident and not afraid to show it.

Eye contact:

Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact!!!!

Look people square in the eyes when you are shaking their hand!

A huge mistake I see many people make (especially younger men) is they will shake hands and look away, breaking eye contact.

This is a big mistake and again signals that you are not confident and have a lack of core structure.

man in brown sport shirt shaking hands of man
See the eye contact? Very important!

Let me ask you a serious question: If someone looks you dead in the eyes why do you feel like you are not good enough to do the same?

I really harp on this one because I used to be bad with this, I would always feel weird or rude if I did this but in reality it made me look weak and passive. Two things no man wants to be known for.

Facial expression:

Listen, people can pick up on a incredible amount of things subconsciously without even thinking about it.

Your facial expressions tell a story that you can not hide. Show confidence and poise with a smile, it can not be fake or forced. Keep your chin up and let the person know that you are happy to be shaking their hand.


Sounds weird but when you shake hands think about a transfer of energy going on. Think positive and feel a true desire to interact with the person involved.

Whether you know it or not your mental game is just a important as the physical.

It will be noticed trust me, this is the way to build character and respect, your mind has to be in the game.

You can follow this article to the tee but if you are not mentally engaged when you are shaking someone’s hand, it is worthless.

Project awareness and confidence always, no exceptions here.

Don’t overthink it

There is a art to shaking hands indeed, however this doesn’t mean that it’s hard. Take some time to practice and get better at the above, you will begin to see a difference very soon in your interactions with men.

You are great and you need to project that fact. Show confidence in yourself and your purpose.

You are just as important as the man in front of you.

Never project that you feel different, it’s fatal to many good things, especially if you are in sales.

Look them in the eyes and grip their hand like you have some balls under the hood. Genuine warmth and respect will always show through no matter what.

From now on I urge you to pay attention to the way other people shake your hand. Learn how they handle this and how it makes you feel. If it’s a halfhearted handshake that makes you feel like blah pay attention to why.

I guarantee the reason is because something above was missing from the interaction.

Your business card

The way you shake hands is like a business card, use it wisely and with purpose. Never shake hands like a fool, it’s your card that people will remember you by, good or bad.

And by the way……….If a weapon does fall out of a sleeve forget this list and get the hell out of dodge!!

man running beside mirror wall

Thanks for reading!

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